


Blue Roses aren't all that Beautiful"

by keithmoans



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, But there is smut be warned, F/F, Great Depression, M/M, Multi, Not So Much Suicidal Shiro, Suicidal Lance, Suicidal Thoughts, This is very angsty and depressing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 15:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8407360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keithmoans/pseuds/keithmoans
Summary: Don't panic, young one, you'll be okay. You'll find help. You'll find support. You won't feel alone anymore. Just keep, living.





	

Another day. Another day of pure terror. Hell. School. Not only just school, high school. 

That's what I felt at least. My names Lance, I'm a junior (surprisingly) and I'm 18 years old, failing school miserably. It's not like I WANT TO, it's sorta that I have an, issue. Yeah, you guessed it. Depression. 

And it's not just the normal depression everyone usually has, it's something, more serious. It's a health problem for me. 

Let's just get this out here. I'm suicidal. No I don't cut or anything, I'm too afraid actually. Too afraid to hurt myself. I want to live, but I've fucked up everything I could possibly think of and I just, I don't know how or do I even want to fix it is the question here. 

I care deeply for others and it hurts, hurts so much when they are disappointed in me. Can't they see I'm trying? 

My therapist suggested the children hospital a couple hours from here, Altean Children Hospital. They apparently have a program there that help people with similar problems that I have. 

Maybe.. maybe I'll make friends there. 

As I struggled though Friday, today with math, which honestly I can't handle. One: I'm pretty sure my teacher is upset with me because I don't do the homework, nor really understand what the hell they are saying. But everyone else understands. They're smarter. Smarter than me. Lance. Stop. You know that's not true. You are smart. 

Ugh, every time I have to keep saying this over and over again.

Thank fucking GOD it's the weekend now. I throw my backpack in my room, grab a glass of water from the kitchen along with making me a bagel as I sit down on the couch, checking my phone to see what my online friends are doing. Nothing. Typical huh. 

It always seems like this, ever since the break up. His name was Keith. He was so nice and we had so many things in common, yet there were some mishaps and confusion and maybe all around awkwardness in our relationship.

He left for a while. I got worried as usual of me. I know he was dealing with his personal life and all, but I wish he would of at least come to say I don't know, "Hi" to me. 

That's where my depression kinda seeped in. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't THAT depressed. It was just that I thought he cared enough to be around for me. 

I have a couple true friends online, yet I feel as though I may lose them the same way I lost Keith. I'm afraid I'll lose people all because I don't have a will of my own to do anything for others.

It's sad, isn't it. My grandparents are calling now. Great. I bring my phone up to my ear and answer. "Hello?" 

"Lance my baby! Is everything going well? Did you go to school today? Did you eat?" 

"Mamaw, everything's fine, I went and I have ate." 

"Lancey-cat!! How's my boy?" 

"Hi Papaw!"

I smiled. I've always been close with my grandfather. I'm just afraid I'll lose him to cancer. He's barely walking anymore and it's scaring me. 

We talked, along with my older sister who would join in on the conversation a couple times and talk about video games and shit. 

But I know what she does to my grandparents and it worries. No, SICKENS me. She acts like a fucking 2 year old. Spoiled asshole. I was spoiled too when I lived with them, I kinda still am, but I understand when it's time to stop.

We ended the call with 'I love you's and goodbyes.' I saw my aunt texted me, telling me she's on her way home. I sighed and brought myself to my room, turning on the heat a bit since it's freezing as fuck in here. I hopped onto my bed, instantly feeling drained. 

I'm always tired. It's all I ever want to do. Sleep. Forever. 

 

It's not like anyone cares. 

Well, they do, but I will never face that fact.

**Author's Note:**

> Heya!! So this is exactly based off my personal life, with Lance playing as me (lolol wow I'm such an asshole) and the others are just people in my life who you'll soon get to know in the upcoming chapters. I hope you guys like this, and understand what I'm going through in this point in my life and hopefully not turn out like me. If you really, really need help, please don't hesitate to ask someone!! Don't even hesitate to ask me! (My ig where I'm usually at is @sp00py.mullet_bitch, along with my kik which is hotandsmol) I promise you, once you ask someone, you will get better. I promise you. Just stay strong. <3


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